The Reason Why (Story)

“That’s her,” was all he said when she was done. “That’s Emily.”
Ben still remembers that, even twenty years later. Sarah tells him all the time in their counseling sessions that he never remembers anything…the boys’ ball games, the gallon of milk from the store, their anniversary.
But that’s not true. He sits at his desk and can remember Emily’s face, illuminated under the stage lights. He remembers her elegance, even in the way she formed her words. “Oh Mama, just look at me once as if you really saw me!”
He had been annoyed when Mr. Draper asked him to sit in on the auditions for Emily in the college’s upcoming Our Town production. He had been cast as George Gibbs weeks ago. He told himself that he didn’t care who played Emily, and went over his Trigonometry while he watched the auditions…until she came on stage. “That’s her, that’s Emily.”

He stops on the way home from work for a gallon of milk and a yellow rose—Sarah’s favorite. They fought again this morning, and she cried.
“Why are we doing this?” she had asked, “Why do we keep trying?”
He has no answer to that question. He asks it himself all the time. He’s not sure why he started thinking about the play today of all days, but for some reason he can’t stop. He can’t stop thinking about her; her sweetness and innocence as Emily, and what it felt like to gently press his lips against hers during the wedding scene. He drives home, holding the rose in his hand and wonders what happened to her.

He walks in his house and is suddenly embarrassed. He feels guilty for wanting to live in the past. George and Emily don’t exist, they never did. He sits down on the couch and stares at his hands. Suddenly there is warmth at his side, a slender smooth hand slips into his, and a head snuggles into his shoulder. Sarah’s hair, soft and smelling like rain, feels so good against his face.
“Hey,” he whispers gently.
“Hey,”
He hands her the rose and she tenderly kisses his cheek. His arm comes around her, holding her tightly to him.
Suddenly he knows why they keep trying…because he still remembers what it felt like to be George, sitting at Emily’s graveside and sobbing out his broken heart. He will always keep trying to remember the gallons of milk and ball games. He will always bring yellow roses and try harder…because even after twenty years, Sarah is still all that is good and gentle in him.
“George,” Sarah whispers quietly, “If you love me, help me. All I want is for someone to love me.”
“You remember?” he asks.
She smiles sweetly, that same smile he fell in love with during that first audition. He kisses the top of her forehead.
“I will Emily, Emily I’ll try,”
She snuggles in closer, “And I mean for ever do you hear? For ever and ever.”